Top: Zara (similar)
I studied the art of writing in my Drama and Creative Writing degree. I believe that it is a great way to express oneself purely and completely. The words you choose to put down on a paper can ignite destiny and belief. Anything you want to happen, could happen on paper, if you want it to. That is how writing is for me. But for the past few years, I have taken a depressive hiatus from the written word. But now I am ready and able to take back to my writing duties, there is a continuing feeling that keeps coming over my body – fear!
When you have been out the game for a long time, that is natural, I suppose, most people would scared. The foresight of the unknown, which is unknown can be scary. The unknown however, is where creativity comes alive. It is behind a wall. This wall is called writer’s block, I believe writer’s block to be a wall, its bricks being fear cemented together by dormancy. Like the Berlin wall, in the West is innovation and on the other side in the East is unproductivity and backwardness. I have climbed over this once before but the life’s secret police brought me back to the East. I’ve tried conquering this wall and failed, started blogs, quit writing job positions because I just couldn’t get it right. The writer, me, is in front of this infinitely high wall, trying my hardest to push against it, only its pushing against me in the direction of my iPhone and Candy Crush Saga.
The more I think about it, the more I realise, I built this wall. The more that I look at it; I see my own reflections of humiliation, rejection, and bad grades. As my fists bang on this self-built wall, I hear the cracks responding ‘I don’t think you are good enough’ or just ‘nobody will want to read this’. This is my battle. This is truly what writer’s block is.
Even though I hear these voices, it’s important for me to still try. Because the alternative is even worse than not trying. Giving up, never knowing what will happen, and never giving myself a chance at success.
Behind this seemingly unbreakable wall is seemingly the land of milk and honey, where characters and blog posts are found. In this land, dreams come true. I’m sure, if you have a dream then you know what I am talking about. Those dreams of becoming a publisher writer or a digital columnist. Agents and publishing companies and all the things that are possible to a writer’s world are in the West over the wall. But I don’t believe all is lost for me because I am making baby steps and gathering my tools to break down this philosophical wall for good, never ever to return again.
This wall – is all in the mind, which means, if I really wanted to, I could break this mental wall with one hit and I’m going to believe that this first blog post is the hard hit this wall needs and the beginning of my life living in the West. But what happens after the wall comes down?
The merge of East and West Berlin, made something even more beautiful. It made peace a lifestyle and a choice. The lessons learnt from two opposing cities merging as one have never been forgotten. Likewise, the lessons I have learnt in my writer’s block days shall never be forgotten. Instead, I like to use those lessons to make something more beautiful than words, I like those words to come from my heart, which hasn’t always been so beautiful.
Welcome to my blog, Deborahappening. A little bit of lifestyle blogging and where honesty and vulnerability are not frowned upon but celebrated. Deborahappening is a lifestyle blog inspiring you to brave the block in your life and break it once and for all. There will be struggles and an occasional faux pas, but there will also be bravery.
This blog will be the beginning of something special in my life and I hope you will join me in celebrating it.