We are told to do it by every Cosmopolitan magazine.  It is a concept incorporated in nearly every Beyoncé album. Women embrace their sexiness! Because apparently, you suppose to! But what is sexy? And why is it so important to be sexy?

There was a time, sadly not so much now, where I was actively dating and I thought my sexiness was determined by how much the man I was dating was attracted to me.

I have also thought my sexiness was formed by how much more attractive (in my eyes) I was to my friends and the women around me. Whether my outfit looked better, whether my makeup was better, whether I was louder (not funnier) than the woman next to me.

And I have also learnt that it is better not to be sexy, because fickle women are sexy, and women who don’t know themselves properly are sexy. How wrong I was? Here’s what I have discovered about being sexy.

Being sexy is an innate choice

To be anything in life is a choice, along with being sexy. I’m learning that regardless of my outfit I am wearing or whether I am wearing makeup or not, I’m sexy because I made the choice to be sexy. Sexiness starts with a decision. This is fantastic because sexiness regardless of what certain media outlets tell you, is not determined not by outside factors, its determined by you. You get decide what sexy is. Sexiness is an innate. With every action, whether good or bad, there is a reaction. Using myself as an example, if I choose the action to be sexy, what do you think the reaction will be? Sexiness! In fact all my reactions will exude from that action.

Being sexy is attractive

When I look at celebrities who I think are sexy, yes Rihanna is definitely up there, (I’m part of the navy), I wonder what about her makes me think she is sexy. Firstly, I have to ask myself, why am I attracted to her in first place? Because she is sexy. What about her do I think is sexy? Well, and it takes some time to realise, it is because she owns it. She exudes sexiness, which makes everything about her attractive. Her music, her fashion, her business. To be a celebrity and to be that sexual, is not only extremely confident, it’s attractive. And to Rihanna’s advantaged, millions of people are attracted to her and her sexiness. She is a powerful icon because she chooses to be sexy.

Being sexy makes you powerful

Being innately attractive, or in other words sexy, is incredibly powerful. Your power to be sexy is not given to an external factor, to friends or to men, but is given to you. You have the power to make anything in your life and to be anything you want. Once you choose to be that powerful, it will reflect in the clothes you wear, the people you date, your career you have and whatever else you decide for you life. This leads me to my last point.

Whoever you are, you are sexy

Not matter what size you are, what your skin colour is, you are sexy. Whether you decide to wear the newest trends or wear a bin bag, make up or no makeup, you are sexy. Just remember to love body, love your passions and most importantly, love yourself.



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